I am now seventeen whoop whoop! I don't feel any different or look any older, maybe I will get more responsibility's probably not. My day was great I loved all the birthday wishes from all of my friends and the food they brought me! Other then that it was like a normal day, go to school sleep most of 1 hour, try to stay awake 2 hour, get ditched by my friends ten minutes in to lunch, finish eating alone. I stood in the rain waiting for the bus that was fun! Never saw him today and I wanted a hug to. I can get a hug from you right after all it is my birthday... sigh. I need a boyfriend... Blogspot will you go out with me?? No oh I see you have better things to do.
My box with the greatest band shirt is not here yet... were is it!! I ordered it like three weeks ago were are you shirt?? I need to stop online shopping... i just ordered more clothes and a movie... Its Chicago so it was not that bad of a choice right?? Well I don't care what you say its a great funny movie. Tomorrow I am going shopping with my two best friends:D getting my dress and some other stuff... I want to get pizza.
Sorry for the wait for the people that read
Love the Zombie
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Monday, January 10, 2011
I Fear Rejection
This weekend was great I went shopping with my close friend Chris, I got a cool as Hoodie and a fake pearl necklace. My weekend was not very productive but it was relaxing what I needed.
I do fear rejection, I am not sure why I do, but I think it has to do something with my childhood. I grew up not having a lot of close friends like I do now, because no one accepted me. I was the weird kid no one wanted to work with. I had a friend that I played with on the play ground but even then it was not all the time. I remember trying to make friends but they just looked at me like I was a crazy person and just walked away from me. As I got older, and realized I was not like most kids my age that listened to populate music, I listened to like rock and heavy metal, in four and fifth grade and My Chemical Romance. When we moved to Texas when I was in fifth grade I meet a bot named Chris (not the same Chris by the way) and he listen to the same stuff I did. He gave me hope that I would have at least one friend who liked me. He never rejected me for what I wore or did, he liked me for me the fact that I was in fifth grade and listen to hard core rock. As fifth grade came to a close and sixth grade moved in, the same thing happened, I lost my only close friend because we had different classes. I felt like a lost puppy, I resorted in to making friends that didn't like me for me well because that was all I had. I felt alone my sixth grade year, people called me "emo" and a loner, and it made me feel like crap. By the end of that year, I realized I had no friends at all. I had tried hard to get in to what every one liked and hoped that people would like me but it was a fail. This was the year my depression kicked in and came in to play. Seventh grade was my turn around year, even though I still was fighting depression, I had found my best friend again. He came with people that like him, liked me for me and didn't care about what others thought of us. I had been happier then I had ever been, I had stopped cutting and made friends. I was not a loner any more, but was still classified as an "emo" kid because of my music and the way I dressed. By the end of that year I had more friends then I had ever had in my LIFE, it felt great. I didn't fear rejection but I had been accepted from others.
Sorry this blog was a story of my life, but I still fear rejection from when I try to ask guys out. And well I was just rejected from "him" guy I wanted to ask to winter formal and my depression likes to blame it on bad events that have happened to me, like that. So now every time I see him I tear up, but I try hard not to full on bust out in to tears, it makes me feel weak.
Sorry about the sad life of Misa
Hope you all love me The Zombie
I do fear rejection, I am not sure why I do, but I think it has to do something with my childhood. I grew up not having a lot of close friends like I do now, because no one accepted me. I was the weird kid no one wanted to work with. I had a friend that I played with on the play ground but even then it was not all the time. I remember trying to make friends but they just looked at me like I was a crazy person and just walked away from me. As I got older, and realized I was not like most kids my age that listened to populate music, I listened to like rock and heavy metal, in four and fifth grade and My Chemical Romance. When we moved to Texas when I was in fifth grade I meet a bot named Chris (not the same Chris by the way) and he listen to the same stuff I did. He gave me hope that I would have at least one friend who liked me. He never rejected me for what I wore or did, he liked me for me the fact that I was in fifth grade and listen to hard core rock. As fifth grade came to a close and sixth grade moved in, the same thing happened, I lost my only close friend because we had different classes. I felt like a lost puppy, I resorted in to making friends that didn't like me for me well because that was all I had. I felt alone my sixth grade year, people called me "emo" and a loner, and it made me feel like crap. By the end of that year, I realized I had no friends at all. I had tried hard to get in to what every one liked and hoped that people would like me but it was a fail. This was the year my depression kicked in and came in to play. Seventh grade was my turn around year, even though I still was fighting depression, I had found my best friend again. He came with people that like him, liked me for me and didn't care about what others thought of us. I had been happier then I had ever been, I had stopped cutting and made friends. I was not a loner any more, but was still classified as an "emo" kid because of my music and the way I dressed. By the end of that year I had more friends then I had ever had in my LIFE, it felt great. I didn't fear rejection but I had been accepted from others.
Sorry this blog was a story of my life, but I still fear rejection from when I try to ask guys out. And well I was just rejected from "him" guy I wanted to ask to winter formal and my depression likes to blame it on bad events that have happened to me, like that. So now every time I see him I tear up, but I try hard not to full on bust out in to tears, it makes me feel weak.
Sorry about the sad life of Misa
Hope you all love me The Zombie
Friday, January 7, 2011
Not Again
I can feel it coming back, my depression. I know it will leave me scared like every other time it does. I just wish there was someone to talk me through it... never really dated anyone through it. Just once I would have liked it, but I let my hopes get to high as always. I just wish the day were I can be happy will come soon and stay. I don't think that will happen for me anyway. Happiness always finds away out of the grip of my small hands.
I could go for your hug right know(you know who I am talking about). I felt bad that I didn't even get to see you, I should just stop trying to avoid you. I don't care if you don't feel the same way about me as I do you, just you being in my presents makes me happy, just a little.
On a happy note, I have decided that I should try out for high school talent show when it comes around...
Its hard to pick a song when you have a mum that wants you to sing a beautiful song that my sister sang when she was my age... I would like to sing an operatic version of Cancer or Helena from My Chemical Romance, or Last Rose of Summer. Also another happy note, I will still go to winter formal even if my dated drops it... I still would like to go. And I am going shopping tomorrow:D I want to find a sexy red dress haha, would be crazy.
Love you long time
The Zombie
I could go for your hug right know(you know who I am talking about). I felt bad that I didn't even get to see you, I should just stop trying to avoid you. I don't care if you don't feel the same way about me as I do you, just you being in my presents makes me happy, just a little.
On a happy note, I have decided that I should try out for high school talent show when it comes around...
Its hard to pick a song when you have a mum that wants you to sing a beautiful song that my sister sang when she was my age... I would like to sing an operatic version of Cancer or Helena from My Chemical Romance, or Last Rose of Summer. Also another happy note, I will still go to winter formal even if my dated drops it... I still would like to go. And I am going shopping tomorrow:D I want to find a sexy red dress haha, would be crazy.
Love you long time
The Zombie
Thursday, January 6, 2011
I Truly Hate Myself Now
I wish I had never said the words that came out my mouth, the word I said to him, I don'y believe in god. Its something I need to through out there now because it ruined a great relationship with a guy in the pass. It was his mum who told him to break up with me, but I did believe at once in my life and could again. Now I am stressed out and went I am stressed I get really depressed and on top of the depressed that I lost great guy like you Sean. I now have no one... I though that happiness had found me again but I guess not.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Listing Stuff Today
- Today was awesome thank god
- Not home were I want to be
- Thank you Sean, Sean and Shin for eating lunch with me and my friends:D
- Liked all the hugs I got even if they were rangging from morning to after noon
- Going to have my gay friend balls for ditching me after school
- Last glade were I am I have internet that lets be on BlogSpot so I can Blog!
- Had bad Chinese food but helped my craving
Not much I want to talk about today, but I got to talk to a guy I have an off and on feelings for thank god. Also got a hug from other guy I like... I want to ask him to winter formal but I fear rejection. I feel my Blogs have been a bit short oh well.
love you long time
The zombie Misa
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Back to School, Back to School
Well its Tuesday... obviously, my day sucked. I ate lunch by myself, they guys were off campus and my two best friends sick at home. I hated it, and I blame every thing on who, Sean Salas, my best friend. Her not being at school just screwed my day up, first in the morning when my ex was hanging around another best friend. I don't like my ex at all, but I try to get over it. Then in yearbook I always feel like a lost puppy when she not there, its horrid. The good thing about her not being there I got watch over the library when our librarian talked with a teacher. It made me feel powerful.
My day was boring I know, so here is what I WISH had happened.
I wake up and do as i planned shower and switch out my contacts, MY hair would turn out the way I wanted, big and full for how thin it is. I would have gone to school and felt good, about going to school. When I get there people came to me and hugged me. Then the guy I liked would come to me and hugged me and said he liked me back. That's just the morning, the after noon, in Math we would do nothing at all, just talk and get A's. Same thing would happen in yearbook. But that's just what i hope for never going to happen HA!
My day was boring I know, so here is what I WISH had happened.
I wake up and do as i planned shower and switch out my contacts, MY hair would turn out the way I wanted, big and full for how thin it is. I would have gone to school and felt good, about going to school. When I get there people came to me and hugged me. Then the guy I liked would come to me and hugged me and said he liked me back. That's just the morning, the after noon, in Math we would do nothing at all, just talk and get A's. Same thing would happen in yearbook. But that's just what i hope for never going to happen HA!
Saturday, January 1, 2011
The cat.
I have a kitten named Zelda, she is crazy all the time. The first day we got her I could tell she was gonna be a hand full just from the car ride home. She meow the hole way if she was in her carry kennel and when she was out she would explore. Her explorations weren't the normal sniff the back seat, find a spot and sleep, no it was like this and I have to translate the meowing.
Zelda: Meow, she walks some were in the car, MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW...purrrr... MEOWMEOWMEOWMEOWMEOWMEOW
*translation* Look over here, walks over there, OH MY GOD WERE AM I, GET ME OUT... Its all good i found the warm stop... whyarewestoppingisthatfoodismellooohhhoiwantsome!!
Me: Zelda shut up, I am trying to pet you hold still. Oh thank god she is sleeping. OOOooOOO food, cat looks over at me, no you can not have my food.
When we get home we let her free, show her the litter box where her food is and all that jazz. Then the dog comes in all hell breaks loss. All you hear is hissing and yapping its like you want to put a mussel on the two of them. I tried to keep the dog away from the cat, but my mum insisted that the two be close so they could smell butts, because that's like saying hi in the animal kingdom. What ever its gross!
Later along the road I find out she has this thing with being picked up and playing in the small carry on bag i have in my room. It was cute at first not its irritating. She also plays kitty fetch, like when it first happened she brought me a hair tie, I though she had read my mind because I really needed one. She placed it on my lap looked at it then me then the hair tie. I said aloud to her "what do you want me to do with it." She then looked away and looked back, I picked it up and she attacked it. Out of wonderment I through the hair tie, Zelda then ran after the tie and brought it back. I freaked out, the knowledge I got from said game of fetch we played was that my cat was not normal at all.
Other then her annoying facts Zelda is cute she follows me around the house and will look at the door when I don't come home with my mum and think were is my human. She is the best cat a girl could ever ask for and hope she stays with me as long as she can!
Zelda: Meow, she walks some were in the car, MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW...purrrr... MEOWMEOWMEOWMEOWMEOWMEOW
*translation* Look over here, walks over there, OH MY GOD WERE AM I, GET ME OUT... Its all good i found the warm stop... whyarewestoppingisthatfoodismellooohhhoiwantsome!!
Me: Zelda shut up, I am trying to pet you hold still. Oh thank god she is sleeping. OOOooOOO food, cat looks over at me, no you can not have my food.
When we get home we let her free, show her the litter box where her food is and all that jazz. Then the dog comes in all hell breaks loss. All you hear is hissing and yapping its like you want to put a mussel on the two of them. I tried to keep the dog away from the cat, but my mum insisted that the two be close so they could smell butts, because that's like saying hi in the animal kingdom. What ever its gross!
Later along the road I find out she has this thing with being picked up and playing in the small carry on bag i have in my room. It was cute at first not its irritating. She also plays kitty fetch, like when it first happened she brought me a hair tie, I though she had read my mind because I really needed one. She placed it on my lap looked at it then me then the hair tie. I said aloud to her "what do you want me to do with it." She then looked away and looked back, I picked it up and she attacked it. Out of wonderment I through the hair tie, Zelda then ran after the tie and brought it back. I freaked out, the knowledge I got from said game of fetch we played was that my cat was not normal at all.
Other then her annoying facts Zelda is cute she follows me around the house and will look at the door when I don't come home with my mum and think were is my human. She is the best cat a girl could ever ask for and hope she stays with me as long as she can!
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